At-Risk

Resources for parents of at-risk and troubled teens.

Saturday

06

November 2010

The Way of Positive Discipline

by At-Risk.org Staff, on at risk youth, positive discipline, positive teen discipline, teen discipline

Yelling at your kid and repeating one simple thing over and over again has no purpose, it will get you nowhere. This type of “discipline” will not teach your kids anything, except to ignore what you say and turn a deaf ear. The only way to ensure positive discipline that your children will pay attention to is if you know how to talk to your kids, how to communicate with them. When a child feels loves, respected and cared about, that child will listen, on the other hand a child being yelled at and disrespected will run his own agenda without ever taking two seconds to listen to what you have to say.

In order to achieve the positive discipline effect you have to be calm at all times, you can just burst into flames whenever something you don’t approve of happens. Also, speaking to your teen in a calm manner will let him know that you are serious and that there is no escaping this situation, while just yelling will make him want to run away, yell some more or in both cases, not pay attention to a word you say.

Keep to your rules. Once you set the rules in your house don’t change them as you see fit and make sure that you yourself keep to the ones that apply to you as well and set an example. You can’t expect that your child will obey when you tell him that smoking is prohibited if you smoke.

Its best if you present your teen with choices, telling him what to do and giving him a slight choice can be seen rather positively by your teen. But on the other hand certain things should be option free. For example telling your kid to go to bed instead of asking him is he ready for bed is a perfect example.

Positive parenting and positive discipline rely on rewards when your kids deserve it. So in most cases when you speak of a reward the question will pop up when will they get it, like with everything else clearly state that they will get it after they finish something, do something or achieve something, not before that. But also make sure that you get that something when you promised, this game goes both ways.

If you come into a situation you don’t know how to handle your best choice is to ask your teen for his thoughts and maybe come up with a solution together. That will show your child that you respect and value his opinion and that you can work together.

Another trick used in positive discipline is brief is good. Instead of giving your child a lecture you will leave a much great impression if you present your case or make your case in one or two short sentences. So instead of giving a long lecture about being late from school you just need to say something like: We had a deal about being on time? Now go to your room and I don’t want to hear you complaining.

Some of these may seem too much, while other look like child’s play. These are all perfect examples of positive discipline that will work with your teen, you just have to stick to it.
 

At-Risk.org Staff