You all know how much a divorce of parents can influence a child; you’ve heard stories or experienced it yourself for sure. This is a great change and it can bring a great deal of stress to a child, and since the rate of divorce in the US is so great, half of the marriages end in divorce, there are a lot of stressed teenagers in the Us at the moment. So you can consider that half of the teenagers in the US are dealing with this issue every day, some get through it ok, with love and support, but some don’t. Teens are most vulnerable in this period and they may feel alone even though there are millions of teens going through the same situation as they are, it can seem like they are the only ones. So how do we go about helping our teen children cope with divorce and try to provide a normal life for them?
In a very large number of cases children get into their heads that they are somehow responsible for their parent’s divorce, in reality that is not anywhere near truth. It is really hard trying to explain a simple fact like that to an emotionally unstable, stressful and insecure child. Some teens will even go to their distance to think there is something they can do to make them change their minds and they try to change, please their parents and become someone else, which is one of the worst case scenarios, a kid trying too hard to be someone he is not. At that stage child’s mind is overburdened and emotions of all sorts surface, in this situation teenager can’t handle the stress and problems and dealing with divorce become a serious issue.
There are so called “positive” ways of going through a divorce for both partners and their children. But as parents you have to consider that as you will have a grieving period so will your child, and that is normal, if there is no sign of grief you should be worried. Let’s talk about some of the things that might help your child deal with the divorce.
Children most often fear the future, what will happen to them, will your relation change, and what else will change because of the divorce. The best thing you can do is sit down with your child and talk to him about everything, what will happen in the future and how your divorce will influence your child.
You should motivate your child to do something he loves, as concentrating on other things may be helpful, not just that, you have to give your child something to look forward to each day. That can be a great stress relief for teens.
Try making your child socialize a bit more, friends and a healthy social life will help him deal with divorce much easier. Try to make them understand that they can come up to you for help at any moment, that didn’t change with divorce, that will never change, make them understand that and show them love as you always did.
Every child will experience the divorce of his parents differently, some will change, some will experience problems, and some won’t even feel it happening. The fact is that kids can be strong, and the best benefit is that they are adaptive and they can amaze you with the speed in which they adjust to new situations. But remember one thing, as children need to recover from the divorce, so do you. Don’t postpone that or you will not be able to help your child and provide support and love.