If you go around the house all the time telling your teen child to do his homework, clean up his room, or now to get a summer job, you have a problem and the problem is that your teen child is not motivated enough. Just going around the house telling them what to do brings no effect, so you should already know better and stop repeating yourself and try some new things that will end up benefiting both you and your teen child.
First of all, don’t look at other teenagers and nag your teen child how they are all better than he is, some kids are just naturally more motivated than other, it’s normal. You need to understand better your kid, his moods and his personality, which may shed light on what to do. Some kids simply won’t do what you tell them when you tell them, they have their own timetable and there is nothing you can do to make them obey. The bottom line is that you shouldn’t expect of your teen child to listen all the time and be motivated all the time, which is simply impossible.
If you ever wondered why your teen child is sometimes unmotivated here are a few examples that might shed some light on this issue.
Some teen kids simply have a low self esteem and they don’t have big expectations of themselves. Maybe your child is surrounded by kids and peers with lack of ambition, which may influence his behavior and motivation. In some situations teen kids can’t see their true potential and they set low goals for themselves. Most teens simply don’t care and have their mind set on something else, so whatever you tell them won’t even reach them. Or your child is simply a rebel and does not respect authority.
So what should you do to change all of this? To get the idea you have to realize that there are two types of motivation, the one when you are about to do something enjoyable and fun and the one when you are looking forward to a reward. The first type of reward is something that has a longer life expectancy, in other words it will last longer while the second type of motivation usually flies out the window as soon as the reward is received. Let’s go over few things you need to implement in your kids raising in order for them to have the first type of motivation.
You need to teach your kids that whatever they do they need to finish it and see it to the end, quitting can easily become a habit. The next step is learning, they need to develop the tools needed for self education, they need to want to learn, and you can do so by providing them with things that will interest them and keep them asking questions, like computers, books and even travel when necessary. The next part is to try and influence who your child is friends with, we said that unmotivated people around your child may make him unmotivated, the same goes for the alternative. The most important part about motivation learning is to teach them how to set goals, let them start with small goals in order to achieve larger goals in life. Always try to interest your kids in things they are good at, that will get their self confidence and motivation up.
All of these things will help your teen child motivate himself in such ways that you won’t have to tell them to do something ever again. But you need to understand that pushing a kid too hard has its negative effects, kids will have to give up some things, be sure they give up the wrong things and not the right ones.