Resources for parents of at-risk and troubled teens.



April 2011

Maine Parents, Stay Connected With Your Children

by Staff, on communication, maine, parenting, parents, risk, teenagers, teens, youth

Many times, as their children get older, Maine parents feel that they are also growing apart from them. When they enter the teen age, children want to explore the world and get to know it behind the boundaries of family home. They want to hang with their friends, meet new people and do stuff on their own. In their busy schedule, there is not much time left for their parents.

This is not unusual, and it happens almost in every parent-child relationship, but it doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t do nothing about that. The key of positive connection between parents and children is quality communication, and it is the hardest thing to achieve, as they need to find the balance between limiting their children and giving them amount of freedom.

Teens will rebel, often without reasons, as it is biologically in their nature. If you confront them with a steer fist, you are in danger to that your child will turn against you. If you are too tolerant, you risk that your child will abuse his freedom and get in some serious trouble.

Every relationship between parents and children is unique, so no one can tell you where exactly this thin line is, and you will have to find on your own, probably with some mistake making along the way. Still, there are numerous family counselors in Maine, who can help you with their professional knowledge and experience.

This is the crucial time for your connection with your child and if you play your cards wrong, your relationship may get in serious jeopardy, so professional opinion is desirable and recommended. If you try to get through the rough time on your own, you might make mistakes and create scars that no one will be able to erase. If you lack of communications skills, you can learn them on various parenting classes.

Communicating is not only verbal, although this is the most common way. When you are communicating with your kid, you are sending him a message, which should always be that you love him, no matter what, even when you are angry. When you are talking, mind your voice. If you are only yelling, you can send the wrong message, and your teen might make the same mistakes again.

If you communicate with your children on a mature level, in a calm way, you can explain why you are mad, and why their actions are bad. Teens need a reason; it is not enough just to forbid something. They will most probably not obey your orders and even do it again, just in spite of you. While they realize they are wrong, it may be to late.

They need to know that they can trust you and confide you with anything. If they have a problem, you have to be the one they turn to; not to try to solve problems on their own and get into even bigger mess. If you assure them that you are still their friend and parent they need, you can hope for a lifetime good relationship with your child Staff