Resources for parents of at-risk and troubled teens.



August 2010

Dealing with Attachment Disorder

by Staff, on at risk youth, at risk youth blog, attachment disorder, dealing with attachment disorder, teen attachment disorder

Attachment disorder is a very serious issue that can leave many problems for the family and for the child with the disorder, the worst case scenario; it can ruin a person’s future. The name explains most of it, but to put it in words attachment disorder is a person’s problem to connect with others and to manage his emotions alone. Such children always feel unsafe and alone, they feel fear and paranoia, all of that leads to low self esteem and low self-worth and in most cases it leads to trust issues.

The common question is how attachment disorder manifests itself and how one develops such a disorder. It comes from the family itself, it comes from the interaction between parents with their children. In most cases everything a parent does seem normal, and in most cases is normal, but every child is different, there lies the catch. In most of these cases the attachment disorder is a direct result of a bad experience that happened in the early stage of the parent child relationship.

In the most common storyline the kids is left alone too often, in some cases even abandoned or even isolated from others. In that situation it is normal for a kid to feel powerless which almost always leads to one conclusion on the child’s side, they can’t rely on other people, not now, not ever. They start feeling that the world is a dangerous place where they have to watch their every step, and there comes the fear of getting to know others and letting them close.

Attachment disorder manifests when there are troubling issues between a parent and a child over a longer period of time. We are not talking about fighting with a child or something like that; we are talking about the basics of parenting a small child or a baby. When a baby cries for too long without anyone responding that can lead to consequences that are closely related to attachment disorder. All the other things that come to mind may have the same effect, a hungry baby left alone for too long, a wet baby, if the baby feels abandoned, which can happen if you don’t talk to your baby or smile at her she will remember that and that never leads to good things.

Very soon after that your baby will try to get your attention in any way possible, and I do mean every way possible. A child may get confused and start having bad feelings even if that happens only a few times, never leave your baby alone or let her feel alone. The worst cases come from families where the parent is always there, always present, but his mind is absent. A parent that is there physically but on a totally different plane emotionally will leave his child in a total mess.

In some cases things like this can’t be avoided, but the child doesn’t know that. A child will never ask you why you weren’t there for him, he won’t remember that, but he will feel unsafe, he will feel fear much stronger than others, he will feel like he doesn’t belong and he will lose trust in the people and in the world around him. Attachment disorder comes to most people as a surprise, most parents are puzzled because they think they did everything right, but these things happen, so in order to prevent them from happening the only thing you have to do is prepare for the new baby and do everything right, not leaving things to chance. Staff